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Tennessee Satanists, Your Fellow Citizens Need You!
Dear Local Satanists, I don’t know if you saw this, but the state legislature has become a hot-bed of proselytizing. Clearly, this violates the spirit of the separation of church and state and spits in...
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Brief Note to TNDP
When you go to a blog, especially when you comment, we can see where you’re commenting from. So, using a made-up name is a bit like sticking your head in the sand and assuming people can’t see you. If...
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An Open Letter to Paul Stanley
Dear Mr. Stanley, I do hope your impending memoirs will cover just how it is you felt it was okay to legislate the morality of the citizens of Tennessee while you were busy taking the grand tour of...
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An Open Letter to Tom Humphrey
Dear Tom, This is completely uncalled-for and disrespectful bullshit: Remarkably, one can find, for example, a blogger who emphasizes being pro-choice on abortion declaring she sees no difference...
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Yet Another Open Letter to Ron Ramsey
Dear Ron, By now, I can call you “Ron,” right? I mean, in my head, when I see your name, I make little “pew, pew” noises, but “Dear Pew, Pew” doesn’t really have the tone I’d like to set. I’m writing...
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And Yet Another Open Letter to Ron Ramsey
Dear Ron, Man, you did a good job picking a communications guy, because I don’t remember hearing from you half this much when you were, oh, running for governor. Now, I know, we already discussed how...
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An Open Letter to Paul Stanley
Dear Ex-Senator Stanley, I admit, I find your desire to dwell on the circumstances that got you kicked out of office to be baffling. What, exactly, is it you say to yourself that makes you think, “If...
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An Open Letter to Stacey Campfield
Dear Stacey Campfield, You know I think you’re a giant douchebag of historic proportion. You know I think you never met a “fuck you, bitches” bill you wouldn’t champion because I think you hate women....
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An Open Letter to Jonathan Franzen
Dear Jonathan Franzen, Sure, I would like to read your New York Times piece all about the hollow emptiness of today’s consumer culture. I mean, if I don’t read it, how will I ever know if it contains...
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I Think I’ve Lost My Sense of Humor in Regards to Ron Ramsey
Dear Ron Ramsey, The next time you think it’s so fucking cool to brag about how you break the laws you write, perhaps you should open your wallet and pay back some of the people who’ve been fined for...
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An Open Letter to Ron “Gun-Jumper” Ramsey
Dear Gun-Jumper, 1. Aren’t we having to petition to be exempted from NCLB this year? And isn’t the election next year? Maybe you should wait until you can show that Republican policies have improved...
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An Open Letter to Jack McElroy
Dear Jack, You are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrongity, wrong, wrong, wrong. And someday one of your reporters may need you to take the State of Tennessee to school, so you need to get right on this. But so...
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Paul Stanely Continues to be a Creepster
Dear Paul, You seem to be floundering with how best to explain your decision to fuck a girl who worked for you. You keep saying things like “I think [the gal you continue to blame for your wrongdoing]...
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An Open Letter to My Mom
Hello, Mother, So, there we are watching Conan the Barbarian–me (also crocheting a baby blanket for, weirdly, a baby who hasn’t been born yet), the Butcher, and the Red-Headed Kid. We’re just at the...
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Free Advice to the TNDP
From here on out, just let Sean Braisted speak to the media and, when he speaks to the media, go ahead and let him do that chagrined laugh of his and say, honestly, “It’s a clusterfuck, isn’t it?”...
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An Open Letter to Millennials
Dear Millennial Generation, I’ve noticed that everyone is writing letters to you guys lately–the general gist of which is that you’re ungrateful and don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. So, I thought...
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